Winjus Khan- The Colonizer

So Dad and Mom watch a lot of movies, which is great for me because that means extra couch time and a lot of attention. Recently they have been watching a great deal of Indian movies, and historical period pieces- and they noticed something interesting. There is a trend in modern movies to portray the British as bad guys or colonists who are snooty but evil! I mean, really how could that be? Not to quote John Stewart (which I also watch) but "the reason the British controlled two thirds of the world is because everyone was too busy sniggering at our fairy accents to fight back!" Seriously, we do tea, nuff said.

Needless to say, it brings up an interesting family dynamic- I am the colonizer! Dad and Mom are both from previous colonial sections of the empire- from two very far away, vastly different places- and I bring them together! I mean without me, they wouldn't be a family for sure! I even proudly wear the Union Jack to show how my family couldn't exist without my colonial help.

Now, if only they could learn to play cricket- obviously the dog always gets the ball!

Woof!

Winston's Top 10 Playlist

"Don't Cha (Wish Your Puppy Was Hot Like Me)," The Pussycat Dolls: For sexy dance parties

"I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself," Dionne Warwick: For lying around the house

"I'm Just a Dog," No Doubt: For making excuses about the mistakes a puppy makes

"Puppy Puppy Puppy," traditional Chanukah song: For playtime

"Winston Bengfort/Is My Puppy/Makes Me Happy/Makes Me Feel Lucky," military marching chant: For hardcore times

"I Wanna Dance with Somepuppy," Whitney Houston: For Valentine's Day

"(I Go Out) Walkin' After Midnight," Patsy Cline: For dream time

"Theme Song from Dr. Who": For space-age couch times

"Theme Song from Las Vegas": For hard-gamblin' couch times

"Theme Song from Scrubs": For medical comedy couch times

Winston: "I really like those couch times."

Bathtime Blues

Yesterday was bath day... after most of the morning laying with mom on the couch while she read her schoolbooks, she finally decided that I was one stinky dog, and that if I wanted to continue to lie on the couch with her, I needed a bath....

I have had a bath once before- after a particularly wet and nasty day out at the meadow, I returned home covered in mud. Dad decided that it was time for a bath, so he and mom went to the vet (speaking of mom, if you are reading this, go to the vet and get my worming medicine!) and bought some doggy shampoo and plopped me in the bathtub. Unsuspicious the first time, I was just amused at the shiny, white, slipperiness of the thing and I just played around a little bit, but then the water started. It wasn't the good water like at the meadow, it was jet water that was getting me soaked. Immediately I flipped out and tried to bail out of the tub, not wanting to get wet. At least the water was warm, but you get cold when you're wet, even if the water is hot. But I was held down. That day, I learned my lesson- stay away from the white, shiny, slippery thing.

Whats odd, is that mom and dad occasionally get into the other clear looking thing, and I know water comes out over there- I have tried to drink it several times (while avoiding the bathtub) they look perfectly happy over in the other one, why can't I go over there? But actually, I know I don't want to, because they always come out dripping wet, and if I am in the bathroom when they get out (usually because one of them has let me in by accident) then I can lick the wetness of their legs and toes! I think I am doing them a favor, but they get mad... especially mom!

Well, Dad was busy yesterday when mom decided to give me a bath so she decided to do it herself. However, I was a little wiser this time and started fighting as soon as she picked me up to go to that slippery white shinny death cold thing. I think I fought bravely, but she eventually overpowered me and there was nothing I could do. I kept barking and whining, but to no effect. Dad came to see what was up, and instead of helping me, he just laughed and grabbed the camera! Can you believe that?

Needless to say, both mom and I were unsatisfied with the bath. Me because I got wet, mom because I didn't get clean, and both of us because now the bathroom (the warmest room in the house) was soaked and smelled like wet dog for the rest of the day. I mean seriously, do you think I like wet dog smell? Of course not! If I did, then I would be happy to get wet...

All I have to say is--- "Blech"!

Woof!

Picture 1: Mom wrestles me into the tub, but the water is on, and I am not having it!
Picture 2: She got me, oh, she got me!
Picture 3: The horror of wet dog...
Picture 4: My feelings for the bath are written on my face...

The Angle for the Bed

Photo: Dad and I sleep on the... couch?

Every night I try to make a play to go to sleep with Mom and Dad on their bed upstairs. Usually I am unsuccessful because they are never in bed before I get put away in my kennel. I mean, who really wants to sleep on the couch anyway- that is the only place that I ever get to sleep with them, otherwise its the kennel! Actually that is a good point, when mom and unfold the futon to sleep on- usually when I am sick or someone is staying over- I have managed to get a permanent place on the futon for the whole night, by whining until they let me out to sleep with them! However, I can't do that when they go to bed, because I am in my kennel and they are upstairs.

However, I did discover one method. I found myself waking up at about 4 am regularly because I had to go potty again- I am just a little puppy with a little bladder. To my surprise, barking twice usually got one of them down there quickly to let me out! I also discovered that if Dad came down, and I shivered a little bit, low and behold I was heading up to bed with them to sleep until morning!

It all started because dad was in charge of getting me up in the morning. He would get up, read the Bible, wash the dishes, drink coffee, and I would sleep on his lap. A few mornings, however, he would be very tired, because of a late night, etc. So he would allow me upstairs in bed for a half an hour or so. Soon I figured out that if he left the door open I could just bolt upstairs and jump into bed with mom. Finally it progressed to the point where when Dad came down, briefly, at 4 am, rather than go back into my kennel, I would go upstairs because he was too sleepy to catch me! However, if mom came downstairs, it was back in my kennel.

Last night, I thought I had one a victory- to spend the whole night in bed. I was put into my kennel as usual, and Dad locked up and turned out the lights. About 15 minutes later, when they were both in bed, there was a banging downstairs. Mom sent Dad down to investigate (turned out just to be the heater restarting and was causing creaking in the furnaces), but because Dad walked past me, I sat up and started shivering. He opened the kennel to comfort me, and like a bolt I was upstairs and in bed with mom! Well Dad just got into bed again, and he and mom had a discussion about what Cesar Milan would think, etc. etc. She called him a big softie, but after ten minutes, she took me back downstairs to my kennel. (Despite my best puppy dog eye attempts on Dad...)

4 AM I started barking, and guess who came down? Dad!

Woof!

Facebook

Thanks to popular demand, I have now become a member of the facebook website- so go ahead and friend me! I am on the London Network as Winston Jacob Bengfort! Yay! So now, I have email, a blog, and a facebook account- almost doing better than my grandparents (except they have skype, but they don't have facebook... so maybe its a draw!) Today my dad's mom was complaining about how much stuff you had to have just to stay in touch- but its 2007, and an electronic world, so I am an electronic dog!

Facebook me!

Running with Mom

I am a puppy athlete! If I am acting up, or I have too much energy, of if mom and dad know they have to leave me by myself for most of the day without a walk- Mom takes me running! Running is a lot of fun- it is a big game. Usually we run out to the meadow and around it, and then come back. I love chasing mom, or running around her, etc!

At first, the runs were mostly me next to mom or behind her trying to keep up, or trying to jump on her because I thought it was mostly a game. I learned to chase after mom if she started running- and in fact, when I was off the lead that is how she tricked me to come back to her to put the lead back on! Now that I have the hang of it, however, I tend to pull mom along- going to the end of my extendo lead trying to get her to run faster so that we can chase geese, etc! I always check back to see where we are going, but I think mom has to follow me more than I follow her!


Mom might prefer to jog- but I love to bound, it is a weird thing to look at, I don't just gallop along beside mom, I fully curl up my body and sort of spring along in a bound. It is all very much fun. I use my bound to chase other dogs and geese because it makes me get into a pounce position easier. Often I'll bound around the house like a maniac because mom taught me how to run.

Dad says there is only one downside- now if they are walking at the parks or something and I see a runner or a jogger, I immediately go after them!

Woof!

Picture: Mom and me rest up and have breakfast after a run.

Goody4Paws Puppy Graduate

Well I suppose I am the first person in the Bengfort family to graduate from an Oxford education. On Wednesday, I completed my puppy school! I am going to miss going to class and seeing all my friends- Mr. Darcy (who mysteriously disappeared for the last 3 weeks of class...), Molly the Dalmatian who always beat me up, Quincy who rode in a Smart Car (and I was her favorite!), Cocoa, a big chocolate lab who was scared at first, but soon came to the head of the class, Hettie, the dog that didn't want to walk, and Tilly- the stinking border collie who upstaged me at the end of the class taking the teacher's love away from me to her (Bitch! Literally...).

But has puppy classes paid off? Some might say it has- actually all the dogs were extra rowdy the last day, preferring to play rather than listen! But I think we all learned some important things. My parents probably learned the most about dogs. I still go through doors first, but at least I can sit, lie down, stay (sort of) and pay attention. I can kind of come (only if I want to), and kind of walk on a loose lead (especially with my harness on). But I think if mom keeps it up, we'll work some sort of arrangement out. I am working hard at being and becoming a good dog!

At least one person doesn't think puppy class has paid off- yesterday on a walk, dad got yelled at by an English lady who said he needed to train his dog better and more. (I may have jumped on her, and I wanted to play rather than come when dad was calling). Dad got chewed out- he didn't say anything, but luckily the lady's friend defended me saying I was just a puppy- and I am! I mean, I am 6 months on April 6, but that is besides the point.

One thing I am glad of- I don't have to ride in a car anymore on Wednesday nights! I hate riding in cars...

Woof!

Sunday Afternoon Walks and Roasts

Sorry about being sick and having my parents post for me the past couple of days. I don't know what was wrong with me, it seems like just puppy stuff, but I am feeling much finer now, and ready to rock! Especially after last night* when I got to sleep with my dad the entire night and well into the morning. Now I am feeling a little antsy, but alright. I got a new rawhide cigar and I am going after that! But it has been all excitement for me, and then bigtime downtime.

Yesterday, after all the puking, I got to go on a Sunday walk with my parents. Unfortunately, the plan was to go to The Perch, a pub in Binsey, across from Port Meadow to get Sunday Roast (The Perch allows dogs, as well as several other pubs in our area, which is really nice for me, even if I get really excited! I have already eaten there once!) We took off, and I got to wear my long extendo leash, but when that busted, I got put on my harness, which is also ok, because it makes me behave like a perfect gentleman!

When we went out the weather could have been better. As seen from the inside (and perhaps these pictures) it looked beautiful outside, blue skies, puffy clouds etc. However, we weren't more than two blocks from the house when it started spitting rain. Dad decided that we should go to the top of the meadow to view the weather, and when we got there (it was raining quite a bit harder, and horizontally) mom and dad decided that the rain would end fairly shortly afterwards. They were right, the rain did stop, but the wind continued- hard! I guess it is spring time gusts or something like that!

Needless to say we made it to the Perch without to much incident, I got to meet a couple of dogs, and hang out, and it was a fun walk- but when we got there we discovered we needed a reservation to get in! (I mean, a reservation to a pub?!) So we couldn't stop and eat, which made me very sad. However, one of the waiters gave me a dog bone shaped treat, so I got to eat, even if my parents didn't! So we headed back for home.

Along the way, we met another dog off his lead, whose owner wasn't very nice. Mom and Dad and I just stopped there to let the other dog meet me, and we were jumping around, but I was on my lead so I had to be well behaved. The other dog just kept running around. The owner started to yell at him, but he ran away from her. In the process, I went to play, but accidentally bumped into the other lady's legs, and she jumped back frightened and accused my dad of having a dad that attacks! (He wasn't too thrilled about that). Finally she caught her puppy and she hit him for being bad! Ha! If my parents hit me when I finally came to them, I certainly wouldn't come back the next time. It was sad, and I could tell my parents were annoyed by the lady. I felt bad, but what are you going to do?

Then we met some geese. That was funny because they cleared the path for us like they weren't afraid of us or me even! We just walked through, and then they came back onto the path again, like nothing had happened. A Dog should always get the right of way to a bird!

We went home, and I got food and water, then my parents went to another pub that was in town to get their Sunday Roast, which was good, we were all happy. The long walk made me really sleepy anyway, so I was glad for the downtime. It was a beautiful Sunday and a good day for a long Port Meadow walk. Who care if I jumped on Dad's jeans and got them all muddy, or the Perch didn't have a Roast available for us? You can't sweat the small stuff, I was just happy that we got a nice walk and it didn't start hailing until we got home...

Woof!

* I did manage to scare the jeebies out of dad. While Dad was watching TV I went to my kennel to start cleaning myself, and because I was tired. I guess I wandered off and got into the laundry room somehow. It was dark, and scary and I couldn't find my way out. Plus I wasn't feeling well, so I just sat there on my but with my legs splayed out, shaking. Dad came to check on me, he could hear my collar jingling from the shaking, but he thought I was cleaning, when he found me, he was very upset and picked me up and put me in a blanket and cuddled me for the rest of the night. Mom and Dad gave me water and food to help me recover, then I got to sleep with Dad! That was the best part, it is more fun to sleep on the couch or in bed than in my den!

Picture 1- Mom and I in the Meadow
Picture 2- Windy day blowing my ears around!
Picture 3- I see Geese!
Picture 4- Dad and I cross over a red steel bridge over the Thames, or in Oxford, the Isis

Doggy Hiatus- Irish Day Cleanup

Photo: Our St. Patrick's Day Family Picture

The Dog hasn't been feeling well- this morning he puked three times, and Jaci and I had to rush to clean it up before he ate it again, so it was unhappiness Bengfort household this morning. (Although probably not a result of St. Patty's day celebrations last night- I only had 3 pints of Guiness and champagne, the dog had a little champagne, but not much else.) As a result, Jaci and I have been posting Winston's blogs as he lays in the sunshine of the office looking at us.

I must say I was touched by his last post- and the dog does sing quite frequently. I sort of laugh it off- but I guess man's best friend must do what he must! He actually sings a couple of songs- including "Winny, Winny, Winny get your adverbs here- Father, Son, and Puppy get your adverbs here." But I am fairly sure he has never seen Schoolhouse Rock- it isn't exactly an English instition (and Parlaiment is too complicated to come up with "I'm just a Bill").

Yesterday was St. Patricks Day, and both Winston and I were expecting a little more enthusiasm from a place so close to Ireland. Needless to say, until I got into a bar, every English person I spoke to had no idea that it was St. Patty's. I mentioned to my hairdresser (who was dropping her comb, scissors, and clippers and hitting me with the cord) that she was probably having an unlucky time cutting my hair becuase she wasn't wearing green, and my green was covered by the hair blanket. She merely looked at me blankely. I then explained what today was- and she chuckled and said she would have a pint of Guiness for lunch- no enthusiasm.

At the Royal Post the person behind the counter didn't realize Ireland was a different country and so postmarked an envelope incorrectly- which I took as a good sign of realizing it was St. Patty's day- but to no avail. Only one man (wearing a Guiness Shirt) finally picked up what I was refering to (but he didn't wear the Guiness shirt on purpose) and laughed that St. Patty's day was probably bigger in New York (Boston, I said) and for us Americans than for the English.

He asked if I was Irish- I responded I was just a good Christian...

Finally we went to Jude for lunch and I found my fellow St. Patricks celebrants all drinking pints of Guiness and IPA Green at noon- and watching the Ireland v. Italy rugby match on the 6 nations cup. And although they did have specialty beer at the pub for St. Patrick- no specialty food. So perhaps America is bigger than England on St. Patty's despite the proximity, but what are you going to do?

Later that night: Luminox, but you can read more about that on Jaci's blog.

Winston says: Woof! He enjoyed his St. Patty's day- he got to walk along the canal searching for four leaf clovers- which if he found he probably ate, and that may have caused his stomach ache today, but I guess we'll not know.

Photo: Drinking Champagne out of Guiness Glasses- a Bengfort touch for the Irish!

P.S. I have heard that in Oxford at least, they mix champagne and Guiness or Guiness and liquour to make it taste better... we have yet to try that!

A Tribute to My Dad

Winston asked me to share a little ditty he sings to his dad, oh, ten or fifteen times a day. To be sung to the chorus of "The Power of Love" by Celine Dion.

'Cause I'm your puppy and you are

My dad. Whenever you call

For me, I'll try not to be bad.

Sometimes, when he really wants to bring it home, he sings it twice:

Yes, I'M your PUPPY!!! and you are

MY da-aa-aaad. Whenever you call

For me, I'll try not to be ba--aa--aad!

We're heading for the meadow!

Somewhere we've often be--ee--eeeeen,

Sometimes I get naughty

But I'm ready to learn

For the POWER of LOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Winston wanted to share with all the other dogs out there that this song can get you out of a lot of scrapes. Just pout, open your eyes wide, and have a people-ally sing it out for you. Even better, sing along!

Spring Weather Crazies

It is the best time of year for a puppy- spring! This is my first spring, and I hardly even know what to do with myself! I mean, it is amazing- grass is green and growing, there are tons of animals, we go outside more, the weather is warm, and the sun is glorious! Forgot what I said about caniwulf- the moon is nothing compared to the sun! It is warm and glorious, and I just love to bask in it. I sleep in it whenever I can, and if there is a spot that is shining in the house (the backpart, because the house faces north/south, and we are such a high latitude that sunshine, those strips of sun that lie on the carpet or the floor, are found where the windows that face the backyard are, and there are only two good ones of those, one in the dining room, one in the office.) If I find a strip of sun, I just plop down in it, and in less than 30 seconds I am passed out. It is amazing. Back in the winter I had to lie next to the heaters in the hallways!

I love going outside now, the weather is so good- it is making me crazy. I run around barking my head off, I am constantly jumping and trying to play, I do my crazy dance whenever I can, then I find myself a sunstrip and plop down to nap before I get up and do it again. Its the springtime crazies! I also haven't been eating much food. Grandpa says that his dogs aren't eating much either and its just because its spring (see the last post about pickyness).

CRAZY CRAZY SPRINGTIME WOOF! Now where is the sun?

Spoiled Dog, Picky Eater

Generally when I look into my bowl, I find the Hill's Science Plan Formula for Puppies.

Ugh.

I mean, I am not a puppy anymore, why should I eat puppy food? I mean seriously, I am a grown up dog, with grown up tastes. Anything that comes out of the fridge, or the cupboards, or Port Meadow- THAT is what I should be ingesting. I have a delicate palate you know?

Its not that my parents haven't tried, as you can see below, there is a list of things that my parents have added to my puppy (ick!) food to make me eat it: butter, corriander, honey, raw egg, onion gravy, dentarask, and even Cesar dog food (which is at least grown up food- I really like the rabbit and turkey!). But just adding doesn't make it better- it just makes it messier. And at first I would go for it, and gobble everything, even the puppy food up in desperation to eat it, but now I am more keen in my dog food sense.

My parents even throw bits of their food into my bowl along with the puppy food to get me to eat it. But this is even worse! It makes the good food taste like puppy food! Who would do that? Needless to say, now I snatch out the food before it gets too contaminated and drop it onto the nice dirty floor and eat it there. How much better is a dirty floor than food that tastes like puppy food? A lot better, so much better.

Mom and Dad might think I'm spoiled or picky, I even refused to eat for the past day and a half, choosing instead to eat whatever I can find. But I don't think I am picky, I just think I am refined. And since I am so old (5 months two days ago- thats 5 and a half years old in doggy years), I think I should get the grown up stuff.

I mean, anything tastes better than that puppy food. Well, almost anything....

Just to Compare...

In my below blog- "My Two Favorite People (Besides My Parents)" I posted a picture of Alex and I at Christmas time. I just wanted to post this more recent picture (taken last night) as a point of comparison to how much Alex has shrunk since Christmas.

My Two Favorite People (Besides my Parents)

I just wanted to give a friendly "woof" to my two favorite people besides my parents- Alex and Nick! I love them quite simply because they will play with me for hours and never get tired, and because Nick will let me chew anything! (His watch, his belt, his shoes...) I have even been to Nicks house! They are definitely Dog's Best Friends!

Nick was actually the first of my parent's friends that I met. He'll play with me by wrestling, and he even let me completely chew the strap off his leather watch. I started on his belt too, but he left before I could finish. It seems like the guy is made of leather! He definately does not come over enough.

Alex came over last night, and played with me the entire time, he wasn't the least bit afraid of me, which some crazy people are, but he was great, he picked me up, threw my toys for me to fetch, played tug of war, taught me how to jump, and all sorts of stuff! He actually tired me out!

Usually I kick people out of my dad's chair when they come over. But Nick and Alex- you guys can sit in that chair all you want, you are my people! And sorry I didn't have a picture of Nick (thats Alex above at Christmas), but soon we'll have one because we are best buds!

Woof!

The TV

The TV, you might be surprised to find out, is one of my favorite things in the entire world! Don't get me wrong- I am not fooled by the noise or the colored pictures going across the screen. I know they aren't real, and to be honest, I am not sure why my parents are so infatuated with it, it seems a little ridiculous to pay attention to a gray box with funny noises that makes light, especially when I am so cute, and hanging out right there!

It is my favorite thing because when the gray box makes noise and flashes is light, I have the attention of my parents! They sit on the couch (my favorite place) and I can play, look out the window, or sleep on them. They'll throw my ball while watching TV, or pet me, and it is generally very comfortable. And- more importantly- they are home when that box is on! I don't like it when they leave, so that is very good, I think. When they are upstairs with those paper things that they read, or at the other light boxes that make sound (the computers I think) they just ignore me, and clatter away at those key thingys. Sometimes I get to sit on mom's lap, but they are usually absorbed, and I just have to chill.

The gray box downstairs is a wonderful thing. It is too bad that I heard they may be getting rid of it soon! I don't know why! They spend more time there than they do upstairs.

Other People

Last night Paul came over. I went crazy! I love seeing new people, they are so much fun, but it is weird for me. For instance, I love making new friends and I wag my tail so hard I think it will fly off. I jump up and try to lick them or bite them so that they will play with me and they'll know I want to be friends. But then they usually get mad or kick me off, or dad and mom grabs me and I just don't understand why- I mean I am being more polite than most of dogs are.

So far my favorite is Nick- he'll let me chew anything- his watch, his belt, his hand. And he'll wrestle me and lets me bite. Mom and Dad don't seem to appreciate that Nick knows what a dog wants. Other people are afraid of dogs- I mean seriously, how can you be afraid of dogs? I mean, what could I do? A little dog like me couldn't eat you. I guess there is a cultural difference to Dogs, and Oxford being so international, there are a lot of cultures I get to meet.

For instance- Greek people love Dogs. Artemis- the girl who is doing something with the living room, was very excited to see me, and I was excited to see her, but she didn't let me nip her, so that was kind of dull.

Caribbean people don't like me at all, they move away from me when I jump at them, and I have to bark at them so they will pay attention to me, which seems to make them even more unhappy. Why? I don't know, my dad seems to like me just fine.

British people, especially old people love me! They say I am a real dog, and will let me jump and bite even on their nice clothes when I go for walks! They say the weirdest things, but I think it may be because they understand dogs! I ran into an old lady on my last walk, and she grabbed me and played with me, it was a lot of fun! She even said I looked like Winston Churchill, whoever that is, he must be handsome, though, because he has my name!

My only problem is when other people sit on my dad's chair. But I have a trick to get them off. I jump on their laps, climbing my way up if I have to, then I nip at them until they try to get me off. When they lean forward, I get behind them and push them from the back of the seat until they have to get off! It seems to work- I have already managed it on Paul and Sasha, and no one else seems willing to try!

Its so exciting to see new people, I wish they would like me as much as I like them!

Woof!