Saturday, 28 June 2008

The House is Empty!!

They took my stuff!!!! My pillows, my couch, my bed, my other bed, my chairs, my rugs, my desks, my sun spot!!! They took it all!!!

I'm a little stressed out and confused by it all. I spent yesterday being very cranky and barky as the movers took all of my stuff, wrapped it up and put it into their big truck. I was one very unhappy pup. Plus they made me wear my handle all day long and alternately put me in my kennel and on my lead so I wouldn't be underfoot (I tried to stop them as much as I could, but they wouldn't let me!

So now the house is empty. And when I bark, it echoes... it is really sad. My space pod travel kennel is still here and some suitcases with mom and dad's stuff. But we are sleeping on the floor- which is awesome! Now when dad is sleeping, I can just walk up and lick his face, and when he turns away and tries to stop me, I can just walk around and lick him from the other side! muwhahahaha!

Wednesday, 25 June 2008

My Mother is Mean to Me

The question is Ange ou Demon? I am a licky demon, a sad angel...

Sunday, 22 June 2008

Sunrise Walking

All this week mom and dad have been getting up at 5:30 or 6 in the morning in order to make themselves more into morning people after reading some article. I am not amused. As a luxury dog, I just want to stay in bed and hang out through the more mundane parts of the morning. However, I quickly realized that getting up early wasn't a bad thing at all! In fact, the article said that the best way to turn yourself into a morning person was to go for a walk first thing because the sunlight helps improve your body rhythm and gets you up early. Well, darn it if I am not a morning dog now! When I hear the alarm go off, I know to run straight downstairs to my box to get my lead!

This morning was especially nice as you can probably see in the pictures we took while we were out there. A beautiful Sunday morning after a pretty miserable rainy day. And since it was so early in the morning, mom let me off the leash with no restrictions to stay close! I got to run everywhere and see boats and birds and all sorts of fun rolling places.

As I perfected my eau d'Winston, in the newly cut grass of the meadow (apparently they cut the grass so the cows will eat the new shoots of grass, also it tames the meadow which is a very good thing!) I realized that I would soon be leaving my idyllic meadow to head to the snow bound tundras of North Dakota... mom and dad both wondered out loud how I would adapt to the changing weather.

But rolling through the meadow isn't the only way to perfect your eau d'Winston. As you can see the meadow was full of puddles even though the flood pond had receded a ways. I saw a bird and rain straight for it, and to my surprise, I ended up in chest deep water! However, when I managed to extricate myself, I realized how cool it was to run through the water at the edge! I always thought it was deep, but really I can just go through the water anytime! Mom says I better watch out or I am going to be spending a lot of time in the basement with Twag if I keep it up. I prefer to stay in the luxury of pillows and a bed so I think that I am going to stay out of the slough for a while.

On the way home we saw a squirrel!! We were turning the corner, when I just saw it in the middle of the road, and it froze, so I froze- but then it took off! Excited, I took off, yanking Mom around the corner (she almost dropped me, the camera, and whatever else she was holding), but when she realized there was a squirrel, she ran with me to chase it down! Unfortunately, it got up that tree in the picture before I could meet it, but I watched it from the ground in case it came down! As you can see, I also had no problems going into someone's yard to check out the squirrel problems.

Speaking of infestations- look what I saw!!! Crazy right? That cat was just brazenly hanging out on the street! I couldn't go get him because I am a good dog and I know I can't go into the road (or my parents shout pavement and I am in trouble). But i gave that cat a good staring down. It is ridiculous the problems we are having on our street....

So when I got back, I had to get a bath of course. But to my horror, I discovered I was using puppy and cat shampoo!!?!??! Now, normally I get the help to purchase the groceries, but I had no idea what an affront it would be! And to make matters worse, the cat is licking the puppy!!?!? What is that about? I am issuing a formal protest right now.

Tuesday, 17 June 2008

Superman is not a Cat!

Cats are not heroes, they are more like felons- they are worthless. I met a cat for the first time a few weeks ago, and let me just tell you- I was disgusted. They are lazy, sloppy, dirty, and conniving, more like a feline felon than a noble animal of the wild such as yours truly. It was on a walk that I met my foe, he was sitting on a porch stoop licking the dirt off himself when I decided to say hello and make a new friend. That thing just hissed at me, then jumped over the wall and, gracefully landed on all four feet to walk away snobilly.

Miffed, I thought that was the last of the cats, but I have been seeing them everywhere, and each time I do, the experience is a bad one. So I have decided to become an Action Hero in order to rid the world of these prissy purloiners. Every time we go on a walk I check in every doorway, to make sure that security is maintained. I didn't used to be so nosy, but desperate times call for desperate measures (Mom thinks I am nosy now because I was allowed to go inside Wolfson college, but I am really just securing the area from the kittyfestation).

Part of my Action Hero training includes reading the guidebook (seen above), luckily I am an Oxford graduate, something no cat can claim. Also, I have decided that since cats always land on their feet gracefully, that I will land in a more canine way, on my face. Whether it is tripping over dad's feet, going down the stairs too quick or jumping off the couch, I am determined to use my face as a gravity deterrent until the kittentastrophe is over.

To prove my point, yesterday I practiced my Superman. Superman, as I found out, can fly! I don't think he is a bird, but I don't really care about them anyway so long as they stay out of my yard and my bushes. So if he can fly, I can fly. Yesterday, when a person came over to look at the house stuff, dad was picking me up to carry me outside rather than get the attention I deserve from anyone I deign to allow into my domain. When he got to the top of the stairs I decided it would be a perfect time to practice flying.

So I wriggled out of his arms and kicked off the wall to jump over his shoulder. It was a long way down all of those stairs, but don't worry- I managed to land on my face! No graceful landing for this pup! Everyone was pretty horrified, but I got up pretty quick to bite the intruder- and everyone got mad, the fall must have knocked my nip into overdrive somehow, or maybe it was the Superman-like flying abilities that gave my jaw more strength, I'm not sure. Its not like I broke the skin or anything!

But one thing's for sure, no darned cat can ever fly or be Superman like I can!

Monday, 16 June 2008

Yawn, literally

Mom discovered that she could make me yawn on command yesterday, and it was kind of fun to yawn when she yawned. Yet, of course, as soon as I am on video trying to do it, it only works once, boring. Anyway, here is the yawn of a video, with everyone yawning but me...

Tuesday, 10 June 2008

The Stink Factory

Recently my parents have been complaining saying that I am a stink factory. I guess it is because I have found a wonderful new place to drink from: the sewer. Our backyard sewer has been clogged for some time, you may remember how upset I was when our back gate turned into a swamp. But because it is where all the dish water comes out, you can get some pretty interesting tasting water right in your own backyard! But now my parents say I am covered in stink all the time, and I have noticed I am being shunned/bathed a little too often, so I think I might cut it out. Anyway, they put a top over the main part so all I can get is what drips onto the ground...