I hate socks.
I hate them because every time I see my dad or mom put them on, it means that they are going away. They only wear flip flops or slippers in the house, and they take their shoes off at the door, so that means if they start to put on socks, they are going to put on shoes, and that means that they are leaving.
It isn't all bad.
Sometimes they are going to take me for a walk, or to fly kites. Other times if mom puts on tennis shoes, it means we are going for a run! But most of the time, they are going to leave, and that means I have to be in my kennel missing them, which is terrible for a puppy.
Socks are to blame.
I guess the socks are what compels them to leave. When they put on socks they are different, they try to get me to go outside, to get me in my kennel, they give me treats (but not in an affectionate way, it is more guilty like they hate to leave- the socks make them do it) , they run around looking for coats, keys, wallets, whatever else humans need, and then they are gone. And all because of the socks.
So I will do something.
I have decided that since socks are the worst thing for this house- that I will chew them whenever possible. I will steal them out of the laundry basket; I will steal them out of the closet; when they are on the floor I will grab them; when Dad tries to put them on his feet I will block him; I will do everything in my power to end the evil of the socks.
So far its been an uphill struggle.
My plan, in effect, has allowed me to wage destruction on the socks- so far the casualties for the socks have been high- holes in the hell, toes ripped off, whole sock roles hidden in my kennel and under the bed, and the most I get is yelled at, occasionally.
What happens to the holey socks?
They get thrown out.
So join me fellow puppies, and help me wage war against the evil sock! Let them no longer take our parents, but rather stand up for them and protect them from those evil deeds of the wool! Eat them! Chew them! Hide them! We are no longer defenseless against their power!
Woof!
I hate them because every time I see my dad or mom put them on, it means that they are going away. They only wear flip flops or slippers in the house, and they take their shoes off at the door, so that means if they start to put on socks, they are going to put on shoes, and that means that they are leaving.
It isn't all bad.
Sometimes they are going to take me for a walk, or to fly kites. Other times if mom puts on tennis shoes, it means we are going for a run! But most of the time, they are going to leave, and that means I have to be in my kennel missing them, which is terrible for a puppy.
Socks are to blame.
I guess the socks are what compels them to leave. When they put on socks they are different, they try to get me to go outside, to get me in my kennel, they give me treats (but not in an affectionate way, it is more guilty like they hate to leave- the socks make them do it) , they run around looking for coats, keys, wallets, whatever else humans need, and then they are gone. And all because of the socks.
So I will do something.
I have decided that since socks are the worst thing for this house- that I will chew them whenever possible. I will steal them out of the laundry basket; I will steal them out of the closet; when they are on the floor I will grab them; when Dad tries to put them on his feet I will block him; I will do everything in my power to end the evil of the socks.
So far its been an uphill struggle.
My plan, in effect, has allowed me to wage destruction on the socks- so far the casualties for the socks have been high- holes in the hell, toes ripped off, whole sock roles hidden in my kennel and under the bed, and the most I get is yelled at, occasionally.
What happens to the holey socks?
They get thrown out.
So join me fellow puppies, and help me wage war against the evil sock! Let them no longer take our parents, but rather stand up for them and protect them from those evil deeds of the wool! Eat them! Chew them! Hide them! We are no longer defenseless against their power!
Woof!
1 comment:
Haha, ( or 哈哈 as they say here in China) I hate socks too. I wished I lived in Thailand where I could wear flip flops anywhere and everywhere!
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