The Stink Factory

Recently my parents have been complaining saying that I am a stink factory. I guess it is because I have found a wonderful new place to drink from: the sewer. Our backyard sewer has been clogged for some time, you may remember how upset I was when our back gate turned into a swamp. But because it is where all the dish water comes out, you can get some pretty interesting tasting water right in your own backyard! But now my parents say I am covered in stink all the time, and I have noticed I am being shunned/bathed a little too often, so I think I might cut it out. Anyway, they put a top over the main part so all I can get is what drips onto the ground...

Winter Sadness

I know I made all these grand promises in my last blog, and I was fully planning on making good on them, and then I got sick...

Lets just call it the February of Puke... it was spew city at 20 Leckford road. Everything I ate came out, everything that came out I ate (although mom and dad put a stop to that pretty quickly). I was not and am still barely a happy puppy. I was shivering so bad that mom and dad made me a little lair (see above- and if you can't see me, see below). What a nasty ride. Mom got sick too, but its probably not the same thing, she blames me for eating so much poo and she thinks that it got me sick.
Anyway, I was holed up in my blankets for the past few weeks, so my bad about the blog writing. Rest assured that I am fine now, and no one was concerned enough to call the vets. Dad thinks it is just growing pains because he used to eat a lot and sleep a lot when he was growing bigger, he is probably right because I am still full of energy after I puke!

Puppy Puke and General October Laziness

Well, it has been a lazy October, as you probably have noticed with the lack of posts. I mean, it got all dark and gray, and well... English. So we slept in, and didn't write posts in the morning like we normally do. Then mom and I's walks/runs started getting later and later, and dad has been forcing me out into the rain to use the lawn. It has just been general comfortableness like that- and has created a mood of laziness in the house.

But I have got my puppy puke on! As you can see by my intense skillz in the picture, I am a beggar like a champion, but this occasionally leads to me getting something I can't handle.






For instance, the Mexican chicken sandwich my dad is holding in the picture? I liked and ate that with relish. However, liver pate? that made me puke a little. Puppy puke is a great thing- it makes mom and dad mad, but they can't yell at me because I'm sick! Wahahahah!

Although, I am leaving puke stains on the floor, which will probably have to be bleached out, and even I don't like those- I sniff them and then turn up my nose and go away!

But at least I am not ashamed to fondle my dad's butt!

Wierd Spots

YAWN! (I am stretching- doggy style), I have just climbed out of a nice warm bed, under the covers next to mum and dad's feet, and I thought I would put up a post this morning before dad gets in the shower. I have to say, I protest at this treatement of me- dad's post yesterday was fragarent libel- I mean who doesn't prefer cushions to your towel kennel?

Anyway, life isn't all easy for this dog. A couple weeks ago, some mysterious spots appeared on my face, shown in the above picture. (See, this proves I am not a celebrity dog, because I don't care that these pictures are online!) You may not be able to tell from the picture, but those spots are perfectly round, tiny little bald spots on my face! (Or maybe it makes me more of a celebrity because all of the famouse ones have their nasty pictures all over the place, in magazines, etc.)

Dad thought it was pimples, but it isn't! I don't know what the heck it is! Other theories are that I got burned with a splattered liquid- when dad is cooking, I usually sit on the kitchen rug to try to get food from him, or that gunk from my eyes dried up on my fur there and when I scratched it out, I pulled out the hair.

Personally, I think tiny flea sized aliens are making crop circles...

Well, the hair is growing back, but its white for now, hopefully it turns black again! I have to have the amazing photos to, not just the nasty ones, or I'll just be like Brittany Spears!

Woof!

Rain, Rain

Its raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring, got out of bed, bonked his head, and now its four in the morning... and I'm barking!!!

I can't let my parents sleep at a time of such great rain! Not that I would go out in the rain myself, I don't like getting wet, I am a luxury dog, and do you know what that would do to my beautiful coat? Anyway, the rain brings all sorts of fun things out, like snails to eat, and birds to play with, its exciting!

Two nights ago wasn't so exciting, though, I puked four times during the night, the first time on the comforter. Mom took care of me and cleaned up the puke all four times- dad was grumpy though because he lost his blanket and then mom took the other blanket away from him because she was grumpy he wasn't cleaning puke. To be fair- dad was the one who fed me the corn cob that probably led to my puke fest, but he had to go to work in the morning and mom didn't...

Mom was revenged, though, when the next morning, as dad was cleaning the kitchen, the garbage bag split open spilling trash water and rotten watermelon all over the place!

Whats a dog to do? Its getting dirty and wet in my kingdom! Honsestly, you think they would tidy up a bit, as a luxury dog, I don't like filth...

Woof!

My Surgery: A Retrospective

Now that I've had some time to put some distance between myself and the horrors of my recent surgery, I'm ready to share some of my most intimate photos with you, my loyal fanbase. I hope this will only serve better to bond us together, and to show that I'm not afraid to bare my heart to my dearest readers.

Dad left early the morning of my surgery--which leads me to suspect that it was all Mom's doing. She took me to the vet at 9 AM. Usually I love going there--just yesterday I made Mom stop and go in on our walk so I could snag an extra treat--but this time, Mom left me! I was kept in a little room and not given any food all day, although Mom left my red ball from Grandma with me. The next thing I knew, I'd been shaved on one of my legs, hooked up to some device, and I just passed out! It was crazy!

When I woke up, I heard the nurse calling my Mom and telling her that I was okay. I most certainly was not! But I was still feeling pretty woozy, and I had to hang out at the vet for the rest of the day. When Mom finally came to pick me up at five, I was happy to see her but I barely had the strength to wag hello. We walked home really slowly and Mom put me on the armchair.

The worst part, and by far the most embarrassing, was the cone. Every time I tried to inspect what the vet had done to me, Mom coned me! Lame!

Anyway, I was feeling much better by 4 AM and woke Mom up to tell her so. After that, it wasn't really so bad--I milked the situation like any rock star or favoured child would and got to lounge most of the weekend with lots of treats, ice cubes, and even a squeaky duck toy.

Talk about a dog's life! Woof!

Photo 1: Coned and sedated. Yuck.

Photo 2: You can see the spot where I was shaved and hooked up to the contraption at the vet's.

Photo 3: I lulled the duck into a false sense of security. He didn't last the night.

Photo 4: Once I was back to normal, I used the opportunity to turn my cone into a fashion statement. Me-yow!

Doggy Hiatus- Irish Day Cleanup

Photo: Our St. Patrick's Day Family Picture

The Dog hasn't been feeling well- this morning he puked three times, and Jaci and I had to rush to clean it up before he ate it again, so it was unhappiness Bengfort household this morning. (Although probably not a result of St. Patty's day celebrations last night- I only had 3 pints of Guiness and champagne, the dog had a little champagne, but not much else.) As a result, Jaci and I have been posting Winston's blogs as he lays in the sunshine of the office looking at us.

I must say I was touched by his last post- and the dog does sing quite frequently. I sort of laugh it off- but I guess man's best friend must do what he must! He actually sings a couple of songs- including "Winny, Winny, Winny get your adverbs here- Father, Son, and Puppy get your adverbs here." But I am fairly sure he has never seen Schoolhouse Rock- it isn't exactly an English instition (and Parlaiment is too complicated to come up with "I'm just a Bill").

Yesterday was St. Patricks Day, and both Winston and I were expecting a little more enthusiasm from a place so close to Ireland. Needless to say, until I got into a bar, every English person I spoke to had no idea that it was St. Patty's. I mentioned to my hairdresser (who was dropping her comb, scissors, and clippers and hitting me with the cord) that she was probably having an unlucky time cutting my hair becuase she wasn't wearing green, and my green was covered by the hair blanket. She merely looked at me blankely. I then explained what today was- and she chuckled and said she would have a pint of Guiness for lunch- no enthusiasm.

At the Royal Post the person behind the counter didn't realize Ireland was a different country and so postmarked an envelope incorrectly- which I took as a good sign of realizing it was St. Patty's day- but to no avail. Only one man (wearing a Guiness Shirt) finally picked up what I was refering to (but he didn't wear the Guiness shirt on purpose) and laughed that St. Patty's day was probably bigger in New York (Boston, I said) and for us Americans than for the English.

He asked if I was Irish- I responded I was just a good Christian...

Finally we went to Jude for lunch and I found my fellow St. Patricks celebrants all drinking pints of Guiness and IPA Green at noon- and watching the Ireland v. Italy rugby match on the 6 nations cup. And although they did have specialty beer at the pub for St. Patrick- no specialty food. So perhaps America is bigger than England on St. Patty's despite the proximity, but what are you going to do?

Later that night: Luminox, but you can read more about that on Jaci's blog.

Winston says: Woof! He enjoyed his St. Patty's day- he got to walk along the canal searching for four leaf clovers- which if he found he probably ate, and that may have caused his stomach ache today, but I guess we'll not know.

Photo: Drinking Champagne out of Guiness Glasses- a Bengfort touch for the Irish!

P.S. I have heard that in Oxford at least, they mix champagne and Guiness or Guiness and liquour to make it taste better... we have yet to try that!

Puppy Dog Eyes- Gross?

I don't feel well today, but it made for a very good night!

For the past two days, my left eye has been very red, and oozing yellow pus. I didn't really focus well, although I could see my dad's finger move around with a treat when he was looking at it! I was tired all day, and not really interested in anything (except of course destruction, but that was 5 minutes of an otherwise very lethargic day- and really, come to think of it, I may have been sent into crazies because of my eye irritation).

Dad took me to the vet to get me worming medication, because the 26th is the day for those meds. At the vet, he checked up on my eye, and was told to wash it out with a warm, wet rag and if it still persisted, to make an appointment with the vet.

Just as an aside- I am getting really expensive!! Teeheehee. Vet bills are a lot in British Pounds! The simple trip to the vet turned into a GBP88 excursion!

Last time I got worming medicine, I got something they put into my food, like a powder. I promptly puked that stuff up, all over the place. This time they gave me a tablet in butter! It was delicious, and I seemed fine for a few hours, but while mom and dad were working, I had to go down to the front door, and I puked a pile onto the carpet! It was huge, and gross. I didn't realize I had eaten that much that day!

Needless to say, I wasn't feeling well, so Dad stopped working and let me lie on his chest while he watched TV. I got my eye washed a few times, and then Mom made Dad spend the night on the couch so they could make sure I was ok, and be close. But I wasn't having that! I barked and whined until they finally realized that I was going to sleep on the couch with them! It is one thing to be put into my kennel, and then they go upstairs, but it is quite another to sleep on our couch without me!

Today I feel much better, and my eye is fine- but now I know how to get to sleep on the couch at night! (Just a puke away...)

Woof!