The Almost Bird Catch

When Dad and Mom got home yesterday I went outside to greet them. It has been raining all week, but the past couple days have been extremely nice. Yesterday was the first day of the nice weather, so I was perfectly willing to go outside to see them. The front yard is my yard anyway. When it rains a lot, Dad doesn't mow the backyard. and it grows a lot, probably because of the rain. It becomes a jungle that is taller than my head. I don't like going to the bathroom in the rain anyway, so I definitely won't do it when there is a jungle. Dad and Mom solve that problem by letting me go out in the front yard on the pebbles, so it is my yard.

Well, I smelled something unusual in my front yard, so I totally ignored Dad and mom and went into the bushes, Dad and Mom were standing outside talking to someone, when all of a sudden, I found the intruder in my yard! I jumped up to grab it and leaped through the bushes, and almost caught the pigeon by the tail feathers as it tried to fly away. Dad also had a chance to grab it, but he didn't take it, even though the pigeon hit him in the shoulder!
I was bothered for a little while, but Mom has moved the furniture again, so I have a perfect spot to look out the front yard and guard it from any fowl play...

Rockstar Dog Diet

I have a rockstar dog diet. Mom and dad might think I am a picky eater- but in reality, I am watching my figure because I am a celebrity, we have to do that sort of stuff! Between runs with mom, wrestling with dad, and learning to catch things in mid-air, I have the exercise program that Tom Chaplain* could only dream of having.

Combine that with my awesome Lindsay Lohan diet- pate, treats, and dog food only at nights, with some puking- I am truly cutting a fine figure recently. Seriously, I am getting strong, and my muscles are nice and defined, now that is what I am talking about!

Dad and mom might be concerned that I don't eat a whole lot, but I think the ladies are noticing. Yesterday I had a lady whippet check me out with much interest, and today I had a tussle with a lady jack russel! Not bad at all.

Well, now I deign to go downstairs and eat some cesars dog food.... so catch you all later!

Puppy Puke and General October Laziness

Well, it has been a lazy October, as you probably have noticed with the lack of posts. I mean, it got all dark and gray, and well... English. So we slept in, and didn't write posts in the morning like we normally do. Then mom and I's walks/runs started getting later and later, and dad has been forcing me out into the rain to use the lawn. It has just been general comfortableness like that- and has created a mood of laziness in the house.

But I have got my puppy puke on! As you can see by my intense skillz in the picture, I am a beggar like a champion, but this occasionally leads to me getting something I can't handle.






For instance, the Mexican chicken sandwich my dad is holding in the picture? I liked and ate that with relish. However, liver pate? that made me puke a little. Puppy puke is a great thing- it makes mom and dad mad, but they can't yell at me because I'm sick! Wahahahah!

Although, I am leaving puke stains on the floor, which will probably have to be bleached out, and even I don't like those- I sniff them and then turn up my nose and go away!

But at least I am not ashamed to fondle my dad's butt!

Winston Wants Chicken!!!

I think I am finally getting the art of begging down- I mean, why eat dog food when you can eat human food, right? Plus the only way dad gets to make and eat meat is if he shares it with me! I have discovered that being ultra cute is not the way to go. When I started my begging career, I would try to be real sweet- I would put my head up on dad's lap, and look at him, I would go under the table and try to jump on his lap, I would nibble at his pants legs to show that I was hungry. Oddly enough, that just got me yelled at, and I was so badorable. (Badorable- adj. my dad works for a dictionary so he can make words up I guess- this is a verbal conjunction of bad and adorable, badorable).

Finally I started to just stand there and throw tantrums. My parents thought this was funny. I would whine and bark and then stamp my feet. It is really hard to stamp your feet when you are a dog, it takes a little bit of coordination. I had to stamp my left front foot, right back foot, left back foot to get that stomp stomp stomp sound without falling over.

If I sit on the hard, cold, wood floor, I usually get a treat- but my butt is all slidey, and I don't want to sit there.

Anyway, after they eat, I usually get food, but seriously, I deserve to be fed don't I? I mean, they are suppossed to take care of me, why don't they give me there food? I only get bits, not a whole meal like them! (A few days ago, mom found out that I was barely eating half of what I was supossed to be eating, so they have been focused on getting me to eat mounds of my dog food... but I don't like it)

Well, off to beg some more, it is almost breakfast time, and that means... TOAST!

Woof!

Toothbrushing Saturday

Today was tootbrushing day! Normally I get a denta-bone or something of that sort to brush my teeth with- but apperently the Vet thought that was the weak way to do it, and managed to convince mom to buy some expensive chicken-flavored (delicious) toothpaste that was vet approved! Dad got me a Spongebob Squarepants toothbrush, and today we brushed my teeth!

I didn't really know what was in store for me, because I have never done this before- and it didn't help that Dad and I were dog-wrestling before we did the brushing, so I think I was more aggressive than I could have been- but the chicken toothpate was so good that I couldn't resist, I finally gave up trying to kill Spongebob and let dad brush. Unfortunately the damage was already done...

Well, I guess its back to dentabones for me! Woof!